Some promises are better not ketp!

I was watching this movie "Gone Baby Gone" yesterday and the end of the movie made me think if not startled me. You got to watch this movie before you read this further. Else you probably will miss the point where I am coming from

The movie is all about child abduction in Boston area. Having lived here for almost 3 years now - I can relate to the place and hence connect to such movies better. Ben Afflec has directed this movie and Casey Affleck plays married private detective helping investigate a little girl's kidnapping case. The mother of the missing girl is a drug addicted careless b****ch.

During the process of helping solve the case, Patrick Kenzie - the private detective promises the sloppy mother that he will find the child. As it appears the child kidnapping was a set up and a high ranking police officer (Morgan Freeman) was involved in it. The high ranking police officer did have good intentions to give the child a good life but the private detective Patrick Kenzie finds it out - informs the state police of Mass and gets the child back to her mother and the people involved in the girl's rescue (from unwise drug addicted mother) went to jail.

I don't know why all the movies shot around Boston area are kinda ending on a sad note - I remember The Departed also ending in a shoot out leaving Leonardo DiCaprio (Billy Costigan) dead...

What I quite didn't get is why Patrick Patrick Kenzie could not keep shut about the truth about the staged kidnapping of the girl.

1. The child was happy with new foster parents - so to call them.
2. He knew his wife - his fellow detective (Michelle Monaghan) would leave him for doing this...
3. He got two senior detectives killed during the investigation
4. And finally he virtually killed the soul of the girl by sending her back to her mother..

I am still wondering...

1. Was it his ego or that he wanted to take a revenge for a high ranking police officer just fooled him brilliantly
2. Or was it that the promise he made was more important than the ones' lives which revolved around lil girl?
3. Or was it the fact that he couldn't handle the truth

The movie is so well made - I couldn't refrain from getting myself involved into it completely. The obvious lesson I couldn't miss was "there are some promises better not kept."

Cost of miracle - A Short Story...

I have been a little upset due to a couple of back to back rough weeks. Sometimes it was the terrorists attackes, some times how the economy was messed up, sometimes personal finances and sometimes the series of occurances at professional and person front... Amidst all - I bumped into a very nice story, I couldn't refrain from posting. 3 minutes to read would be well spent. :-)

PS: I know the story below is a peiece of fiction - so please do not waste your time in googling out the facts about it. *I already have done that* ;-)

PSS: What is more important is morale of the story - a little faith will keep up going. Don't miss on that. :-)

The story - Cost of miracle

A little girl (Tess) went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes. Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door.
She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but he was too busy at this moment.
Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise.
Nothing.
She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster!
No good.
Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter.
That did it!
"And what do you want?" the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. "I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages," he said without waiting for a reply to
his question.


"Well, I want to talk to you about my brother," Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. "He's really, really sick... and I want to buy a miracle."
''I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist.
"His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?"
"We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you," the pharmacist said, softening a little.
"Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs." Tess urged her argument one more .
The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, "What kind of a miracle does your brother need?"
I don't know," Tess replied with her eyes welling up. "I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money."
"How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago.
"One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered barely audibly. "And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to."
"Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and eleven cents--- the exact price of a miracle for little brothers."
He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said "Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have
the miracle you need."
That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well. Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.

"That surgery," her Mom whispered. "was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?"
Tess smiled.. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost...one dollar and eleven cents ..... plus the faith of a little child..

Interesting Quotes

I have been fond of reading quotes. So, here is an attempt to start with a few of the quotes in back of my mind and keep updating the blog as and when I add to the list. . .

1. The sum of human wisdom is not contained in any one language, and no single language is capable of expressing all forms and degrees of human comprehension. ~Ezra Pound
2. It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. ~Alfred Adler
3. An eye for an eye, and the whole world would be blind ~Kahlil Gibran
4. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. ~Lily Tomlin
5. The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it isgenerally employed only by small children and large nations. ~David Friedman
6. There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. ~William Shakespeare
7. If you cannot see a brighter side, polish the dull side ~ Unknown
8. Age is an issue of mind over matter, if you don't mind - it doesn't matter ~Mark Twain
9. How can I be substantial if I fail to cast a shadow, I have to have a darker side, if I am to be whole ~Unknown
10. Procrastination is an art of keeping up with yesterday ~Unknown
11. Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice...
12. Furious activity is no substitute for understanding... ~ H. H. Williams

Hope you like it... and stay tuned for more... Cheers... :~)

Terrorist attacks in India - first impression

How did I get to know about the situation?

I am working out of client side just like yet another software developer in US and decided to take off early since it was early closing due to Thanks Giving. I just reached home and a dear friend of mine caught me online to sensitize me about the hostage situation in Mumbai.

First reaction and thoughts…

I was numb for a moment. Didn’t know what / how to respond to my friend? She was equally upset herself!... A set of severe and mixed feelings - helplessness, anger, rage and frustration - took over me in no time. It was a sentimental moment for me while I watched the news on internet (At lack of subscription to Indian channels in the US) For a moment I wanted to book the flight ticket and rush to India / decorate myself in military fashion to kill a few of those terrorist SOBs personally!

I was equally worried (call me selfish – but friends and family DO matter to me a lot) bout my friends and families in Mumbai. I started dialing the numbers and waking people up if they were asleep. I breathed relief when I figured “all well” at my end. It was late evening by the time I could accept the fact!

What kind people were deputed on the scene?

There was an absolute lack of the leadership and experience in handling such situations. It’s mournful and equally foolish to learn that ATC Chief himself decides to enter in the place that too with a few of his best men? Not only had he lost his life, but also of the others who he dragged into the process. That is not it. He missed on the fact that if he is gone – probably there is none to run the show and many lives will be lost when commandos / policemen will be asked to jump into jaws of death – as if asking them rightfully to commit a suicide.

I couldn't resist to notice that p/ commandos entering the building didn't quite know how to hold a rifle - are we ready to fight, forget about hostage situations and tactical warfare. We are still living in a stone age when it comes to dealing with terrorism.

Some rants:

What these Terrorists have done is absolutely humiliating. I wonder how thick skinned our leaders are who fail to buy a few hours of airtime from these many TV channels and address the nation? If the Prime Minister is incapacitated to take a call - why doesn't he have guts to accept / acknowledge the fact and resign? Isn’t it even more humiliating to see the leaders of the nations are devoiding of national security?

I am still struggling to get an answer how can someone turn out to be such a selfish bastard to think of vote bank instead of the sabotage and massacre midst mayhem.

When news channels approached the chief minister of the state asking him to provide an update - he was reading out casualty statistics as if he is illiterate or reading something written in foreign language. I could have spelled out the details in way too better fashion just by watching the news for after 10 minutes.

It’s shameful for us to have taken forever to have recovered couple of Hotels... 30+ commandos killed in gun battle with 5 terrorists. It’s so easy for stone hearted politicians to get away stating that the terrorists were "highly skilled" - I being a loyal tax payer of the country have a right to ask where in the world you are wasting tax payers' money actually when you take it under the name of commando training camp contributions.
What would you attribute this act of banning the news broadcast? Such a royal CYA attitude is rare to find.

Net net…

1. I wished it stronger than ever to serve the nation I belong to. Living a mediocre life as a decorated army officer would be well worth viz. having luxuries in life at the expense of self esteem and painful process of getting over the humiliation
2. My heart goes out to those who lost their lives fighting a war (as good as committing a suicide) on their own - esp. the men in Uniform
3. The leaders of this nation - are giving lack of foresight (“Probably India never anticipated a situation like this”) as an excuse to get away with taking responsibility of what happened and people all over the world witnessed scene to scene?

If I sound upset and frustrated – hell yes, I am. And how can I not feel so? Please grant me for this strong blog – I will re-consider updating the content as someone proves above otherwise!

Jai Hind!!!

PS: Please excuse my lanugage / typo and very strong personal opinion if you have found it offending.

Necessity of looking good

It was like I had started developing an allergy on my skin. Skin of my face grew more and more dry and started to peel off. I was really scared to the death - what happened to me!!... Again, during this time I ended up meeting someone who happened to be a person of strong sense of aesthetics and thought we may be able to get along well!

It was a great dilemma. I wasn't sure of the other person's ability to digest the fact and there was a risk if told the truth; I might put a seemingly great relationship to jeopardy. It was not fair on part to hide the fact either. Another aspect that got me thinking was - how bigger a deal it was for me to look good. Personally speaking, I would always try to look at a "person within" over looking the appearance of an individual but it might not always work like that. I wasn't sure if the other person will be able to accept me on "as is" basis. What if I would never recover! All those unwanted questions bubbled up my mind. It was only then, that I realized that looks did matter to me a bit - and it might equally be important for the other person.

Later I found out - after a couple of visits to my doctor - that the new hand lotion was something I developed an allergy to and with a couple of ointments and new lotion - I recovered pretty quick...

Definitely a learning experience!!

How truth changes the perspective... A Short Story

I have not been a great believer in forwarding the emails - actually I hate it. I really get pissed with people - mind you, they are in their full senses - refrain from applying their logic and using their brains before hitting "forward" button to 100s of mailbox with 4 MB attachments.

I normally spend a some time going over the forwards - that helps me "clean up" my inbox [Don't expect another blog from me on cleaning up now ;-) - I am already thru]

I got this very touching story in my e-mail and couldn't resist to share. I do not have any insight in the factual details - but from fictitious standpoint too, it makes whole lot of sense.

The Story:
The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside...

'See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful'

This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son.' This guy seems to be a crack...' newly married Anup whispered to his wife.

Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son, filled with joy ' see dad, how beautiful the rain is ...'

Anup's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit. Anup,'can't you see its raining, you old man, if your son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum. And don't disturb public henceforth'

The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied ' we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused...'

Morale of the Story:
The things we see may be right from our perspective until we know the truth. But when we know the truth our reaction to that will hurt even us. So try to understand the problem better before taking a harsh action.

Cleaning the desktop

Cleaning your computer's desktop is like cleaning the house (or should I say, opening up old photo albums) - you get to find so many big memories scattered thru little documents here and there which leave you wondering... wondering about time AND how fast it flew by, that the entire desktop got filled up with so many document. And again looking at the flip side of the story one seldom realizes that such a long time went by without noticing all the memories.

On a philosophical note (Can't help it sorry!!) it depicts an analogy that we sometimes miss on acknowledging the things despite seeing them. All the documents were there right in front of my eyes and I bet I would have religiously visited my desktop a dozen times at least in a day - seldom realizing the fact that bits and pieces of time were captured out there... Just that when we have time and visit those documents some leave us with good memories and some with learning(s)...

As they say "The past is never dead, it is not even past. (William Faulkner)" - I think the past "lives" in our hearts. However, the good about memories is that it gives humans a chance to transcend back in past and re-live those moments. I am not absolving that living the moments again is not bad, I am sure there will be tons of things / people you would want to just erase from your memory given a chance! :) I am sure there is always a lesson that one would not want to miss on and sometimes such lessons can be learnt while doing introspection on past events.

Often less noticed and mostly taken for granted feeling - after this effort to organize the cluttered reminiscents - is the ecstacy of cleanliness and satisfaction; which is out of world and inexplicable. I might sound rude/harsh here if you think otherwise - but so far that is what has been my experience. Sometimes one feel so engrossed in the course of action that the time stands still for the person. And other gamut of things revolving around go unnoticed.

I read this quote from Thomas Fuller about memories, sounds pretty good to conclude...

"Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories. Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart."

So, keep taking a small bite from the left over to realize how tasteful the life has been :)

PS: Sorry - couldn't talk about what all I found on my desktop but may be thats again food for thought for later - stay tuned.

Art of philosophy...

I often get to hear from my friends and others that my conversations are a little more than philosophical. More often than not, I get into some discussion and people ask me to stop "inventing" philosophies.

I am left completely puzzled when I get to hear such things. If I now take a step back and give it a second though, I am sure of nothing but one - I have been trying to describe a well established fact instead of "inventing something." I am sure some people will find me "justifying" certain things when I put forward a set of arguments.

As they say - put your foot in someone else' shoes to feel what they feel - for a second I will try different shoes. If I were on the other side of the table, I might will call it "invention" coz I may have made a conscious decision not to believe in what the other person is saying, OR I have known those facts but haven't been able to acknowledge it. Often I find running away from the responsibilities an easier option compared to dealing with the situation.

The very phrase "inventing the philosophy" - however catchy it may sound, DID got me thinking. I was deliberately trying to figure the definition of this word in my world... It is ironical when we put conscious effort to come up with something, we seldom come up with something that we will be pleased with / and feel satisfied about. Having stated this fact, I couldn't not come up with anything meaningful. At lack of originality, I landed up running to "Lord Google" to rescue me. I wanted to see if / how others had defined this word.

Later that day, I was busy running errands and this thought pops up in my mind "Philosophy is an art of being spontaneously logical." and it made so much sense to me. I have been just trying to link the fact in more logical way such that its easy to see, understand and more importantly believe in.

Over a period of time I have observed that its important to have spontaneity. This saves one from getting into a confined and traditional thought process. If definitely brings up an interesting question - if the art is all about being spontaneous, can this be learnt at school? I see people taking up philosophy as the major and spending years at university to learn it. Not sure if that's the playground where one can sharpen the skills. I think the ability to logically relate the things come from living more life. When I say living more life, I mean paying enough attention to our daily trivial experiences such that we learn out of them. I somehow have gotten a feeling over a period of time that if we make philosophy a profession / or offer a specialization, we rather would end up creating a useless factory to produce jackass people trying to beat other bunch of jackass folks for what they have wrote / said in past. Again more important and critical part of the issue here is, how would you start quantifying various paradigms of such a liquid subject.

I am sure we can talk about this forever and write a thesis on it but I will leave it here...

As Albert Einstein says "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results", may be those jackass folks were doing the right thing..

I will come back to this topic for sure and add / update more content!!

"What else...?"

Weekends are generally the days to catch up with friends over the "phone" - esp. if it happens to be a long weekend. AT&T's weekend and night hours allow me to be vocal. It was the long weekend because of Labour Day and I was chilling on a beautiful Sunday eve. After getting tired of aimlessly staring at the repeatedly announced "Gustav" news again and again, I finally gave up on TV and got myself a drink. (Its ironical that TV was on mute and subtitles were "on")

As the evening went by I kept dialing the numbers. Predictable answers from them not only didn't go unnoticed but also it gave me a hint of monotony taking over in their lives. I hate to answer "What else" type of questions and the degree of my peevish dislike can also explain me how much would they hate to answer this question.

During my corporate communication subject in second year of graduate course - I learnt about a term called "Semantic Gap." People feel a little odd but I find it a part of basic courtesy to say "Hello, how are you doing" to the person I am sitting next while traveling. This is normally a good ice breaker and helps me fight boredom while I converse. I have experienced "Semantic Gap" in real life very much and I think its natural that two new people who have just met, will run out of subjects soon.

I think the a phrase in any form that can be interpreted as "What else?" depicts semantic gap. The question normally pops up when two people run out of a common subject to talk about. For a second I was asking myself a question - am I talking to my friends or are they the fellow passenger sitting right next to me?

I think this could be attributed either to disconnect at my end with my friends which happened over a period of time in a gradual manner OR it can be attributed to the cocoon they have developed due to the nature of circumstances when they were fighting so far away from me AND the life style they have adopted.


Probably this is the price we are paying for urbanizing ourselves and as Bashir Badra precisely describes in his Urdu Sher -

Kuchh na bacha kahene ko, har baat ho gai;
Aoo kahin sharaab piye raat ho gai.
Suraj ko chonch me liye, murga khada raha;
Khidki ke parde khinch diye, raat ho gai.

(I cannot avoid using native indian language(s) when it comes to describing, please grant me - here is the translation)
Everything has been said and done - nothing is left,
Lets go and have a drink - looks like its night
Rooster woke up with when Bright sun meets dawn
But if I close the curtains - its still night for me

I feel Petty for our lives how it has turned out to be. Drinks define the evening and if you pull down the curtains, we think its night. In the metros life pumps in 24 X 7 and now people have come to terms with time where they take liberty to define their own day and night.

I am not an exception - I work long hours too. I have been the culprit to prioritize my work over calling up my friends and asking their how abouts. I have missed attending their weddings and engagements. The only thing I am feeling glad about is, I didn't let this observation just go. I promised myself to take it more than seriously and ensure to come up with a mitigation plan :-) On that brighter side, its already 3:05 AM (EDT) here and I will hit the hay.

Easier said than done

I have been normally fond of preaching and exemplifying the self for others. However, it doesn't quite work the same in every walk of life. Before I created this account on this website - I was deliberately suggesting others to start blogging. It helps channelize the thought etc and many did confirm it worked for them. For me this was something I read repeatedly and a fact that commonly works for everyone - which it did. However strongly I recommended others to start blogging, I never had a chance to get into it myself. The moment I start writing I now realize how difficult does it get to write without being in the habit of writing.

Being able to write is an act. Being able to write effective is an art. Over a period of time, the nature of job, I have been doing - has had its toll over developing / not developing certain skills. I wish blogging would have been as easy as writing technical specification document. :)

If I were to be an optimistic being, I think its good that it has started. Often I do have some well structured discussion going on in back of my mind or I observe something worth noticing, but due to the old habit of getting into procrastination I have never been able to do that.

As they say "its not the dog within the fight, but the fight within the dog that matters". On that positive note, I will call it a day with a promise that I will continue the good thing that I have started.

PS: Talking about skills, I had just 2 spelling mistakes while writing above text - a skill that my job has gifted and of course goes into the list I can brag about O:~)